This text, written by Heide Simonis, was first published by SPIEGEL Online on October 10, 2007. On the occasion of her death on July 12, 2023, we are republishing it here.

Some thought it was an industrial accident. I myself felt as if I had been thrown into the cold Baltic Sea by a steamer at night. "Bye," said the steamer—and suddenly I was prime minister. That was on May 19, 1993, two weeks after Björn Engholm resigned from his post as Prime Minister of Schleswig-Holstein.

Under normal circumstances, Björn Engholm would not only have become our candidate for chancellor, but would most likely have gone to Bonn as chancellor or parliamentary group chairman. In this case – as was discussed in Schleswig-Holstein – three people would be considered as successors: Social Minister Günther Jansen, state parliamentary group leader Gert Börnsen and Heide Simonis. In this constellation, the chances were fifty-fifty that the SPD would nominate a woman. They knew me as Minister of Finance and as such I had built up a good reputation.

But then came the story with Björn Engholm.

A certain political elegance

The first Barschel Committee of Inquiry had already aroused great interest in the Federal Republic. I still remember the press conference in September 1987 at which Uwe Barschel gave his word of honour. At the time, I was convinced that he could not have lied. He had a similar social background to my father, and he had taught me that you can absolutely trust the word of honor of a man of honor. I was all the more outraged that this word of honour was supposed to conceal a lie. At the time, I experienced the affair from a distance, as a member of the Bundestag in Bonn. In the state SPD, of course, it was a central topic of conversation.

After the SPD won the new elections to the state parliament in 1988, it naturally made demands on how politics should be shaped in the future. We were simply the better ones! The better people! The better democrats!

At the forefront was the shining light Björn Engholm. People liked him. He had a certain political elegance, did not seem as pinched as other politicians. He also talked to people from other parties and he knew something about art. In short, he was an unusual Social Democrat – at least compared to the well-known prejudices against Social Democrats. Björn Engholm was just an interesting person.

The republic holds its breath

He became even more interesting when it came out that he had been flunking. It was about the question of whether he knew anything about the machinations of Barschel's media advisor Reiner Pfeiffer before the official announcement. If he had admitted right away, "we didn't dare to say it during the election campaign, but now we're saying it ..." it probably wouldn't have been half as bad. But he said "no".

One can only understand this catastrophe for the SPD if one has witnessed the first round of the Barschel affair: this holding of breath far into the republic. The outrage at the fact that a prime minister would set someone from the State Chancellery on the opposition leader in order to prevent him from winning.

And then the second round of the Barschel affair. The noble demands for a better policy were now directed against the Prime Minister himself. The party was completely distraught and wanted a decision quickly.

That's when they put me on a platter.

"Can you? Do you want it?"

The committees were convened, there were special meetings and then the Schleswig-Holstein party chairman Gerd Walter came up to me and said something like: "We can't afford anything long: Can you do it? Do you dare to do it? Do you want it?" And I always said "yes".

My name only appeared in the headlines when it came to the question of what was happening to the SPD in Schleswig-Holstein. Previously, hardly anyone was interested in a possible prime minister.

At the party congress in Eckernförde shortly after Björn Engholm's resignation, I had actually expected a more difficult freestyle. I had prepared a speech in which I wanted to say what I would do as Prime Minister. But the only thing people seemed to care about was: How does she manage to get the party back together?

"You're ruining all our work"

Shortly thereafter, the campaign for the local elections in April 1994 began. A tough election campaign that hung like lead. Everywhere I went, the meeting rooms were jam-packed. Whatever I said about local politics, I could have saved myself. People wanted to know two things: how the party is coping with the crisis and how a woman is doing herself as prime minister. "You guys in Kiel, you're ruining all the work we're doing here," some local associations said. And from others: "First you have taken your mouth nice and full and now tell me how you want to cope with it..."

There was a lot of skepticism about the SPD and me as a woman. I remember an event at the Farmers' Union when a man, whose face and his big cracked hands showed his hard work, said to the camera, shaking his head: "No, no, the whole beautiful country in the hands of a young woman! ...«

For some men, my new role was probably a bit difficult.

Madam President, ladies and gentlemen

By the way, also in the round of Prime Minister's colleagues. When I first came to the Minister-Presidents' meeting, our spokesman, my colleague Kurt Biedenkopf from Saxony, said in greeting: "Gentlemen, ...". A co-worker sitting next to him nudged him and then said: "... and Mrs. Simonis«. It took a while for the "Mrs. Colleague" to come up.

In some letter and address files it was not penetrated until the end that one does not write, "Dear Mrs. Simonis, ... we ask you and your partner ...«.

The annual meetings of the prime ministers were also difficult when the other colleagues brought their wives or partners to the ladies' programme. Later it was called an accompanying program – but I never had anyone to send there. My husband said that he would like to go to Schleswig-Holstein, but not just somewhere to take part in a program. However, he did not defend himself with his hands and feet. That's why we offered alternative programs in Schleswig-Holstein – especially since it was difficult to put together a program that all the ladies liked anyway.

Carried out of the curve

The first election of a woman to the head of a federal state – without much discussion and the usual rounds of introductions – can only be understood from what spilled over from the Barschel affair into the SPD in 1993.

It would be nice if there was once again a female prime minister in the 16-man men's group. But that will probably remain the exception for the time being. Mrs. Merkel's career after the CDU donation scandal also shows that a woman is only ever elevated to such an office if it has previously carried a man out of the curve.