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How am I going to make the spoon if it is 48 degrees in the shade this city?", my friend Jorge told me last week when asked how his last appointment had ended. And the truth is that he is right; If it is already difficult to fall asleep alone in a 135 cm bed on summer nights, the very idea of a sweaty body next to you becomes, to say the least, overwhelming.

But as with everything, it is not so for all mortals. Adriana spends the summers in her second residence with her boyfriend, with much less space than in her usual home, but although things get complicated in terms of location and climate, there is no possible negotiation: "Having the possibility of sleeping in separate bunk beds, we do it in a 90 cm bed in order to do it together. Sometimes, even, with dog included. We have to put the fan on our face to overcome it, of course. We separate alone if the heat is already unbearable, but reluctantly."

Together... but not scrambled

There are half measures, not everything has to be black or white, there are those who only need a hand or a leg on the other body to feel close to their partners despite the heat, as is the case of Mari Carmen: "I try skin-to-skin contact at least before sleeping, then I separate".

And surely you have heard at some point that of 'stove people' because of the amount of heat they give off. In this case, and according to Javier, affectionate gestures, yes, but with limits: "I like warmth, so I'm not one of those people who prefers to sleep apart. It is true that there are people who cannot be smoked because of the heat they give, but in general, I am 'procariñito'. Throughout the night, from being close together we go to separate a little, but in the sleepless there is always a meeting point where you put a hand or a leg on the other person in the plan 'it's very hot but I'm loving you'".

We must negotiate

As if the bed were the ring: either we fight or we negotiate. Alexandra and her partner started with the first option, but after three years together they have decided that he to the sofa and she to bed. "Rest is vital and if together it is impossible, we must look for alternatives. It has not affected us, but quite the opposite, we woke up tired, in a bad mood, angry ... And now, happy. It seems that, if you do not sleep with your partner, people ask you all the time about how strange it seems. But if you can't fall asleep, that's what you get."

And what about sex if you always sleep apart? "A lot of people ask us, but when you want to do it, you look for the moment, whether it's in bed, in the bathroom or wherever it arises. I have not noticed that it has decreased, I would even tell you the opposite, "adds Alexandra.

What is the most beneficial?

Our history and our origins endorse us as a warm and close society, we like to touch each other and be affectionate, at least compared to other countries. Even so, there are numerous famous couples who have openly declared that they do not share a bed, between the surprise and amazement of their followers, as is the case of singers Camilo and Eva Luna, Tim Burton and Elena Bonham Carter during their stormy relationship, Victoria and David Beckham or Antonio Resines and his wife.

If we go to the latest studies, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine consulted more than 2,000 adults: more than half of the respondents (60%), aged between 55 and 64 years, do not adjust their sleep routine to that of their bed partner. Another fact that complements: 82% of respondents from 18 to 64 years old, sleep in a room different from that of their partner. In America, of course.

Celia Garcia Malo, Neurologist Expert in Sleep Medicine, confirms that sleeping as a couple "favors self-esteem and a good bond, generates well-being, sense of protection, security, favors sexual relations and helps us produce serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins, which help us to be happier ".

But of course, there are also disadvantages, especially at this time of year where thermometers do not reach anywhere near the ideal sleep temperature, which is between 18 and 21 degrees, and where many sleep couples do not agree on the time of exposure to the fan or air conditioners. In this case, the neurologist tells us, it is understood that it is more beneficial to sleep separately and gives us some advice, such as refreshing the room before sleeping, raising the blinds only when a little air runs, air conditioning so that the room cools before getting into bed, or generating drafts but, Above all, communicate and negotiate with the dream partner.

  • Couple relationships